An all-White beauty image

Indian-Australia model brings racial discrimination into focus.

Chadwick Model Agency is in hot water after informing model Kema Rajandran that she may find it difficult to secure work in Perth as she is, quote, "of non Caucasian heritage".  This ugly remark begs the question, are Chadwick right?

If Kema is going to find it hard to model in Perth, is it because Chadwick won't take her on because they have racist policies, or because the beauty and fashion industries don't see the value in using non Caucasian models?

                                          Kema Rajandran courtesy of www.smh.com.au

As consumers, does the Australian public have such a defined idea of beauty that non-Caucasian models put them off buying their favourite beauty product?

It's yet another ethical question, along with too-thin models and photo re-touching- that the beauty and fashion industries must grapple with.

C-C-C-Colin for King

Hurrah Britannia!

The King's Speech cleaned up at the BAFTA's, which could be a sign of the possible outcomes at this year's Oscars. Either way, for 1 film to win 7 BAFTA's is a fine achievement. And for Helena Bonham Carter to walk the red carpet dressed as though she were on the red carpet (rather than queuing at a soup kitchen) is an achievement in itself. Bravo!

Colin Firth said something lovely about how nice it was for all three lead actors (Bonham Carter, Rush and himself) to win an award, which makes me love him even more. I'm so pleased that he's won another BAFTA for such a great film. He was excellent in  The King's Speech and definitely deserved all the praise he received. A sign I think, that with every great role that he has undoubtedly started to pick, directors and studios are growing more confident about casting him. Oh god, I hope he doesn't appear in some epic Michael Bay-type-shit now. That always happens when someone wins an Oscar out of the blue.*

With such huge success across Britain, Australia and America for The King's Speech, 2011 is turning out to be thoroughly royal year. Perhaps we're all feeling nostalgic for the British monarchy? Bertie and Elizabeth's marriage was one of love-a very romantic and quite tragic story that was touched on in the film. I wonder if Kate and Will's impending marriage, which certainly appears to be romantic rather than pragmatic, has boosted audience's interest in a tale about the monarchy? Although it's a great story, sympathy is not usually an emotion we feel en masse for the royals.

Or perhaps it's just Colin Firth's appeal? I'd love to see his face in my purse everyday.

Colin for King, hurrah!




*See:
Cuba Gooding Junior
Halle Berry
Helen Hunt**

**BTW has Hunt literally dropped off the face of the earth? Actually it's wrong to put her in this category because she didn't make anything worth noting after As Good As It Gets, not even a crappy Michael Bay-type-shit-film. Oh, apart from What Women Want with Mr. Jew Hater, which does not deserve to be deemed with the noun 'film'.

That Black Swan has serious mother issues

This movie is a horror film geek’s wet dream. If you know a bit of film theory, or if you’re just into your horror films, you will notice that Black Swan has enough psychoanalytical babble to make you weak at the knees.

Just to scratch the surface, there’s an overbearing mother with incestuous tendencies, played by Barbara Hersey (Beaches). Barb, by the way, is not looking good. Maybe the make up team uglied her up to heighten the sense of the monster mother? It worked. There’s a bit of jealously, resentment and sexual attraction between Hersey and Portman.

Which leads us to Portman’s ‘sweet girl’. Where would a good horror movie be without a virginal leading lady being led astray by a sexy evil lesbian? Straight to video, that’s where!

A sexual aggressive Frenchman, a bitter older matriarch (good to see Wynona back on screen) and some awful ballet injuries (split toenail-ahhh!) make for an enjoyable couple of hours spent in the cinema. Possibly much longer spent writing a critical analysis.

Black Swan is definitely worth a watch. Portman is great and Aronofsky is at his messed up best. The horror is a little overdone is places, but you’re sure to hide behind your popcorn in at least 2 scenes. Definitely not the usual Natalie Portman film.

I couldn’t help but wonder… do men still not know how poignant SACT is?

The other night, whilst the b/f was busy (and therefore could not request that we watch something else), I settled down to my ‘series linked’ SATC episodes. It was the one where Carrie turns 35 and Samantha has a thing for a priest. B/f joined me as Samantha announced that she fancied ‘Friar F*ck’, which immediately peaked his interest. Excellent, I am free to watch this episode without complaint.

The SATC crew attend an engagement party where everyone but them was coupled up. That led Miranda to say that she couldn’t bear for the loved up women at the party to coo to her, “Ah don’t worry, I’m sure there’s someone out there for you.”

“As if” says the b/f, “do women really say that kind of thing to each other.”

Hello! Have you just joined western society? Do you not know any women? Yes women say that kind of patronising, degrading, irritating comment to singles ALL THE TIME! Ahhhhh!

A friend told me just before she got married, “I know you’re going to find someone special.” We were 21. Oh thanks for that reassurance because that’s been playing on my mind a lot lately, what with the biological clock and all.  

I find it hard to know what to say to such statements. It’s a typical back handed compliment. Do you snipe back and make the other person feel bad? Or do you just nod and smile, then obsess about what sparked such a comment. Perhaps you have ‘Desperately Seeking Soul-Mate’ written across your forehead?

My best friend says the worst, which she got from a man when she was single, was “why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Again, what are you expected to say? Because I’m emotionally fragile? I have B.O and no one finds me attractive?

I nodded all the way through that SATC episode, agreeing with the girl’s analysis of the supposedly ‘hideous’ state called singledom. The b/f shook his head unable to believe the level of neurosis that women give each other. Even though I left the single parade a few years ago, patronizing remarks passed by coupled up women still sting.

Don’t even get me started on the coupled-up women that assume your single status equals boyfriend snatcher (the subject of a different episode, of course). God damn Candace Bushnell hits the nail on the head.

I know it’s been said a thousand times, but boys, the mystery to womanhood is unlocked in SATC. Watch if you want to know our secrets.

A Happy New Year to You

2011 O.M.G

Another year to make a load or resolutions to yourself and break them. Instead of the usual 'I won't eat chocolate' rubbish, I tried to make sensible resolutions this year such as;

Start a herb garden. Alas! The rain has so far prevented me from cultivating a tasty little pot, but I still have the best of intentions.

Don't waste fresh food. I haven't so far, I have bought less at the supermarket. Due to impending food shortage soon to be caused by flash floods I won't have a choice in the matter. In fact I may starve (of tropical fruits).

Save money. Blah! This is easy in Britain but January is the start of summer in Oz so there is a wealth of things to do at the moment, all of which require money. Poor me.

This is going to be a big year. I was surprised to find I've reached the age where you get texts at Christmas telling you that friends are engaged. They'll be falling like dominoes now.

So what's on the agenda for the year? There's a baby due for arrival, a trip home, two weddings and two 30th birthdays.

It's looking like a good year. I fancy a bit of a change myself, I'll see what I can lay my hands on.

Christmas Wars-Britain vs. Australia

Ok this title might be a bit contentious.
And dramatic.

Christmas is pretty much the only time you'll hear expats in Oz say that they miss home. Given the fact that the whole of Britain has turned into an igloo, if you hear a Brit say that they wish they were home right now-have some pity. Give them a hug, they miss their mums.

An Australian Christmas consists of sun, seafood, beaches, parties, shorts, dresses, sun tan lotion-all those good things.

All those good things for July.

At Christmas this stuff is just plain wrong. Not one inch of my being feels remotely Christmassy here. And in Britain I am a Christmas freak. I applied for a job at the North Pole once and got knocked back because I was too eager.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

In Britain.

"Well if you like it so much why don't you f*ck off back to England then!" I hear you cry. Fair play, I'll take that.

"It's too expensive to do every year" is the short answer. So during my year off from a British Christmas, allow me to list the Christmas elements that I miss from home. (while tears flood my keyboard)

In no particular order:
Marks and Spencer's food ads-"This isn't just a mince pie..."
The Salvation Army playing carols in town
Advent calenders-why don't they have them in Oz? Call this a 1st world country?!
My family-I know I said no particular order but I probably should have put this first
Mulled wine
A turkey lunch
Wrapping up in gloves, a scarf AND hat
Proper Christmas lights in the streets-Oxford Street style
Highlighting the Radio Times with programs I want to watch
Walking in the Air movie-does anyone actually like this? You have to watch it though don't you?
Family walk on boxing day-the only time you say hello and smile at strangers
Seeing people in the pub that you haven't seen in years-also avoiding said people

What do I like about an Aussie Christmas? Nothing. It's just not Christmas. It feels like a summer holiday, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just that I am fairly certain that Santa does not drive over this way. I think Australian parents have to buy their kid's presents, which is just plain sad.

Am I wrong expats of Europe? C'mon Aussies, prove me wrong-what do you love about Christmas in Australia? Convert me!









.

To snag or not to snag? That is the question

BBQs: the great Australian tradition of incinerating meat on a boiling hot day.

Certain elements are expected at are BBQ: great weather, singlets, cold drinks, loud music..and always the same nagging question for the host: "should I ask guests to bring their own meat?"

Yes my friends, Australia may have many problems-but this one, this snag etiquette dilemma ravages the minds of the good men and women of Australia every summer.

To gain a greater understanding of this national nuisance, let's first assess the need for a barbie:

• The weather is great
• Men do all the cooking
• You eat all day
• You drink all day

Now that we are all clear on the great advantages of BBQ, let's evaluate 2 possible outcomes on either side of the BYO Snag Situation.

Host provides all meat for BBQ:

1. Host is forced to cater to special dietary requirements of guests-host cooks vegie sausages on same grill as meat sausages. Vego finds out, is racked by guilt and turns to alcoholism to sooth their battered conscience.
2. Host miscalculates meat to bread ratio, thereby forcing guests to eat their snags sans bread. Inspired, guests decide to try Atkins when they get home. Predictably, said guests develop a high cholesterol problem forcing them to rely on a cocktail of prescription drugs for the rest of their lives. Guests can never eat snags again..

Host requests guests BYO meat:

1. To prove a point, one guest brings own meat, own drinks, own bread. Refuses to share with anyone including host. Rest of guests wonder when their friend became a twat. Said guest is gradually ostracized from the friendship group, leaving them sad, lonely and hungry.
2. Guests and host provide lots of meat, now there is way too much meat but it is all eaten. Guests stomachs have been stretched and they gorge all week, unable to fill the snag shaped hole created in their bellies. Guests become obese, stuck to their couches and unable to ever attend another BBQ.

So you see, miscalculate the BYO meat situation and the results could be dire.

To snag or not to snag? I wish I knew.

Tread carefully friends, let me know how you get on.