That Black Swan has serious mother issues

This movie is a horror film geek’s wet dream. If you know a bit of film theory, or if you’re just into your horror films, you will notice that Black Swan has enough psychoanalytical babble to make you weak at the knees.

Just to scratch the surface, there’s an overbearing mother with incestuous tendencies, played by Barbara Hersey (Beaches). Barb, by the way, is not looking good. Maybe the make up team uglied her up to heighten the sense of the monster mother? It worked. There’s a bit of jealously, resentment and sexual attraction between Hersey and Portman.

Which leads us to Portman’s ‘sweet girl’. Where would a good horror movie be without a virginal leading lady being led astray by a sexy evil lesbian? Straight to video, that’s where!

A sexual aggressive Frenchman, a bitter older matriarch (good to see Wynona back on screen) and some awful ballet injuries (split toenail-ahhh!) make for an enjoyable couple of hours spent in the cinema. Possibly much longer spent writing a critical analysis.

Black Swan is definitely worth a watch. Portman is great and Aronofsky is at his messed up best. The horror is a little overdone is places, but you’re sure to hide behind your popcorn in at least 2 scenes. Definitely not the usual Natalie Portman film.

I couldn’t help but wonder… do men still not know how poignant SACT is?

The other night, whilst the b/f was busy (and therefore could not request that we watch something else), I settled down to my ‘series linked’ SATC episodes. It was the one where Carrie turns 35 and Samantha has a thing for a priest. B/f joined me as Samantha announced that she fancied ‘Friar F*ck’, which immediately peaked his interest. Excellent, I am free to watch this episode without complaint.

The SATC crew attend an engagement party where everyone but them was coupled up. That led Miranda to say that she couldn’t bear for the loved up women at the party to coo to her, “Ah don’t worry, I’m sure there’s someone out there for you.”

“As if” says the b/f, “do women really say that kind of thing to each other.”

Hello! Have you just joined western society? Do you not know any women? Yes women say that kind of patronising, degrading, irritating comment to singles ALL THE TIME! Ahhhhh!

A friend told me just before she got married, “I know you’re going to find someone special.” We were 21. Oh thanks for that reassurance because that’s been playing on my mind a lot lately, what with the biological clock and all.  

I find it hard to know what to say to such statements. It’s a typical back handed compliment. Do you snipe back and make the other person feel bad? Or do you just nod and smile, then obsess about what sparked such a comment. Perhaps you have ‘Desperately Seeking Soul-Mate’ written across your forehead?

My best friend says the worst, which she got from a man when she was single, was “why don’t you have a boyfriend?” Again, what are you expected to say? Because I’m emotionally fragile? I have B.O and no one finds me attractive?

I nodded all the way through that SATC episode, agreeing with the girl’s analysis of the supposedly ‘hideous’ state called singledom. The b/f shook his head unable to believe the level of neurosis that women give each other. Even though I left the single parade a few years ago, patronizing remarks passed by coupled up women still sting.

Don’t even get me started on the coupled-up women that assume your single status equals boyfriend snatcher (the subject of a different episode, of course). God damn Candace Bushnell hits the nail on the head.

I know it’s been said a thousand times, but boys, the mystery to womanhood is unlocked in SATC. Watch if you want to know our secrets.

A Happy New Year to You

2011 O.M.G

Another year to make a load or resolutions to yourself and break them. Instead of the usual 'I won't eat chocolate' rubbish, I tried to make sensible resolutions this year such as;

Start a herb garden. Alas! The rain has so far prevented me from cultivating a tasty little pot, but I still have the best of intentions.

Don't waste fresh food. I haven't so far, I have bought less at the supermarket. Due to impending food shortage soon to be caused by flash floods I won't have a choice in the matter. In fact I may starve (of tropical fruits).

Save money. Blah! This is easy in Britain but January is the start of summer in Oz so there is a wealth of things to do at the moment, all of which require money. Poor me.

This is going to be a big year. I was surprised to find I've reached the age where you get texts at Christmas telling you that friends are engaged. They'll be falling like dominoes now.

So what's on the agenda for the year? There's a baby due for arrival, a trip home, two weddings and two 30th birthdays.

It's looking like a good year. I fancy a bit of a change myself, I'll see what I can lay my hands on.